Stereo Total: "Amour à 3"

Dizem que um movimento precisa de canções. Nós ainda não somos um movimento, mas somos já sem dúvida uma contra cultura.

Dos StereoTotal:

L'AMOUR À 3(F. Cactus/v. Finsterwalde)

moi ce que j'aime c'est faire l'amour
spécialement à 3
je sais c'est démodé
ça fait hippie complet
mais je le crie sur les toîts
j'aime l'amour à 3
moi ce que j'adore
c'est les petites caresses à 4 mains
si l'1 des 2 s'endort, l'autre s'occupe de moi
ouh! voilà l'amour à 3ouuuuuh ...
j'aime l'amour à 3 ...
moi ce que j'aime ...
c'est sexy, extatique
crazy, excentrique
animal, romantique
c'est communiste
ouuuuuh ...
j'aime l'amour à 3
...vive l'amour à 3!

em inglês, alemão e francês aqui. Divirtam se a cantar :-)
http://www.stereototal.de/music/lyrics_lz.html#liebe

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nonsense: poly gate

Quem quiser saber mais sobre tecnologia de semicondutores com paletes de poly-gates, pode ler este pequeno e jeitosinho livrinho...

graswurzel

"Atrás de cada rosto insuspeito uma vida única. E á sua frente, um futuro único"

Extracto modificado de artigo publicado na Zona Livre.

Entreguei no último número da zona livre a tradução de um artigo pessoal e descritivo (da minha amiga e cúmplice de conspiração G. Altenhoeffer) sobre poliamor, esperando começar a discussão sobre o tema. Por algumas respostas que tive (obrigada!) senti-me na necessidade de explicar alguns pontos. Não quis apresentar definições ou grandes dissertações sobre o poliamor, não-mogamia responsável, relações abertas, aneis, redes, triângulos, etc. etc. etc.. Basta apresentar o poliamor como qualquer relação que se afasta conscientemente do modelo monogâmico, e já temos material que baste. Não quis fazer uma apologia do poliamor como um modo de vida que todas devamos abraçar imediatamente e sem excepção. Cada uma sabe de si e o amor (em todas as suas formas) sabe de todas. Quis sim, como disse, em primeiro lugar, lançar a discussão. Em segundo lugar, quis mostrar que há ainda mais diversidade do que se vê em primeira aproximação, mostrar que há outros modos de vida a acontecer mesmo ao nosso lado, e que pedem e merecem visibilidade e respeito. Por fim, quis mostrar ás que, mergulhadas numa sociedade que força o paradigma monogâmico, e vivem ou contemplam viver em poliamor, que não estão tão isoladas como isso: "Nós andamos aí".

As reacções que tenho tido têem sido semelhantes em quantidade e qualidade a reacções ouvidas nos últimos anos noutros ambientes, noutros contextos. Vejo isto como animador, pois parece indicar que diferentes ambientes sociais não influenciam a predominância de um certo tipo de reacção. Estamos pois a falar de um tema que é essencialmente humano e pessoal e que não é influenciado por modas, idade, culturas ou educação. Tive reacções de grande hostilidade (a raiar o insulto), outras de grande cepticismo ("esse modo de vida é sustentável?"). Tive outras de tolerância em que pessoas que não se imaginavam fora do modelo monogâmico aceitavam que isso pudesse ser válido e respeitável para outrem. Dentro deste grupo ouvi muitas referências a uma ou outra história poliamorosa de pessoas delas conhecidas. Finalmente conheci algumas pessoas que se identificavam (em teoria ou em prática) com alguma forma de poliamor.

As tais reacções de hostilidade foram as que me fizeram desenterrar o que vem a seguir. Nas comunidades GLBT de língua alemã, a fracção lésbica que recusa o paradigma monogâmico tomaram como designação para esse movimento a palavra "Schlampagne", que é uma mistura bastante feliz de "Campagne" (campanha, no sentido de luta política) e "Schlampe" (vádia, galdéria, pêga). Do mesmo modo que no início dos movimentos feministas e lésbicos a palavra "lésbica" era usada como insulto pelo vulgo, sendo adoptada pelo movimento, reinventada com um novo sentido positivo, houve mulheres que começaram a usar palavras como "vadia" ou "galdéria" para se autodescreverem como mulheres rebeldes em relações não monogâmicas, fora da boa ordem estabelecida, que não se preocupam minimamente com a reprovação de quem usa tais palavras como insulto intencional. Pergunto-me muitas vezes qual vai ser a palavra portuguesa (existente ou por inventar) que vamos inevitavelmente descobrir para descrever a mesma identidade.

A "Schlampagne" bate-se pela colocação ao mesmo nível de consideração (material e social) de todos os modos de vida, em contrário ao acumular de privilégios (materiais e sociais) de certas formas de relação aprovadas socialmente (estamos a falar de casamento em sentido lato, em todas as suas variantes gay-hetero-religioso-civil-etc). As mulheres dinamisadoras deste projecto têem organisado encontros regulares. Na ordem dos trabalhos destes encontros encontra se a elaboração de estratégias concretas para atingir esse fim. Mas estes encontros têem servido também para três outros objectivos muito importantes. O primeiro é a autoajuda (criação de redes de contactos, encontros, troca de esperiências, descoberta de identidade), o segundo a divulgação (quer dentro das várias comunidades lésbicas quer para a comunidade em geral) e o terceiro a influência política através de colaboração e negociação com organisações de solidariedade.

A modo de conclusão, gostava de acrescentar que não aprecio cega e necessariamente tudo o que se faz "lá fora" a nível de activismo ou auto identificação GLBT. A nossa comunidade é pequena, e por ter pouca gente activa, desenvolve-se mais devagar do que as comunidades "lá fora", é um facto. Mas há muitas vezes a tentação de tomar o estado das coisas (ou pelo menos a face mais visível desse estado de coisas) "lá fora" como a bitola do que as coisas devem ser ou passar a ser nas comunidades GLBT portuguesas. Penso que precisamente por não termos o mesmo ritmo de acontecimentos que "lá fora" temos a oportunidade de evitar repetir os erros de outros e de encontrar uma identidade própria. Isto para explicar que fui buscar este exemplo alemão simplesmente porque o tema me diz pessoalmente muito respeito, porque ilustra os conceitos que tenho estado a tentar explicar, porque é uma faceta do movimento GLBT de "lá fora" que, curiosamente, é pouco conhecido cá, e porque tem muito potencial em termos de discussões instrutivas.

Em Portugal, não sei se queremos ou se alguma vez poderemos atingir tal dimensão e nível de organisação. Esbarramos com os habituais argumentos da massa crítica e a falta de tradição associativa portuguesa. Mas parece haver motivos para se dizer que há bastantes mulheres/lésbicas que vivem ou contemplam viver "de modo contrário á ordem estabelecida". Resta saber se essas mulheres têem interesse em criar as tais redes de contacto e ajuda.


Fontes:
[1] www.graswurzel.net/243/schlampagne.shtml
[2] www.wikipedia.org (poliamor/polyamory)
[3] "Breaking the barriers to desire", K. Lano and C. Parry (ed.).Five Leaves Publications

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Várias Comunidades

Para quem aprecia o conceito de comunidades na direcção do ZEGG ou do Tamera, aqui vai uma colecção delas. tirados da poly-ch. A maior parte delas são na Alemanha.

(não é o tipo de coisa em que eu embarcaria, mas são formas de relacionamento alternativas válidas).

E aqui a referência para o livro Ecovillages


www.Lebensgarten.de (140 Pessoas)
www.Lakatien.de (110 Pessoas)
www.ZEGG.de (80 Pessoas)
www.Tamera.de (50 Pessoas in Portugal)
www.Pankgraefin.de (80 Pessoas)
www.Oekodorf7linden.de (80 Pessoas)
www.kommune-niederkaufungen.de (70 Pessoas)
luebnitz.lebensgut.org (35 Pessoas)
www.lebensgut.dewww.oekolea.de (??)

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polylogo

This logo was developed by Gwendo, and you should feel free to download it for all polyfriendly purposes.

You are also free to pick up a pen and convert those crosses into arrows if you have to.
More about this logo, the Krake project, and for praisal and so on: polylogo@gmx.de

A perfect day

Escrevi este texto em Janeiro de 2005, no mesmo dia deste acontecimentos aqui descritos. Recentemente a vossa já conhecida Gwendo resolveu compilar uma zine poly em Munique, a Krake, e pediu me alguns textos. Desenterrei este que traduzi e adaptei para inglês. Quem tiver interesse em receber a Krake, que é escrita em alemão com excepção dos meus textos e se dirige a um público feminino (queer) deve contactar-me ou á Gwendo.


6/Jan/2004 - "A perfect day", or, "on the nature of Present and Future in relationships".

We had a beatiful day today, cold and bright, planted in the middle of a grey and condescending January. We decided to jump in the car, throw some wine and cheese inside a picnic basket and just drive to that medieval village we contemplated visiting for so long. In pure honesty, what was really important was not quite the village itself, but driving there, and images like that of a k7 box tapping lazily against a thermobotle filled with tea on the bottom of the car.

The day was so bright that we drove with an open car, heater constantly busy. Nothing between us and the blue sky except icy wind. Buried in berets, caps and coats, we insisted in the decadent poetry of the open car. We crossed the kms of suburbia where nobody who wants to be taken seriously really wants to live. We suffered with a smile and dreamy eyes all the fatal colds and lung infections that the bypassers would predict (or even wish) us.
The rolling hills immediately afterwards were crossed at antisocial cruising speed, more adequate for contemplative beings than for drivers in a competitive world, "Durutti Column"´s gentle music as soundtrack. All other cars on the road got, thankfully, impatient and eventually overtook us, finally leaving us alone on the asfalt, mountains looming proud on the horizon as sentinels. Being January, the shadows were dark and long against that impossibly bright green. We were very happy, happy inside, and happy with us. All of us. Very likely we were asking ourselves in silence (well, I was, at least, definetely) if we shouldn't be together again, specially after we recreated such a beautiful moment without any effort. But nobody voiced it loud. Maybe because all of us knew that this thought was not only in one´s head. Maybe because we were in a way together again.

We got to our destination, and unanimously decided to skip the cultural visit, expontaneous empty heads we all are, and just indulge into walking along the river where so many before us strided through the centuries. Let's assume it, is has been a quite "bourjoise" saturday, and not even shopping was overlooked, in an improvised antique shop contiguous to the city walls, smelling of mold and "saudade". This shop we left with the already usual amount of odd music reliqs and unlikely objects which will end up some day in another antique shop after we become dust, without lips to kiss and love anymore.

But, allas! Suddenly the fight erupted, violent, unsummoned, redundant and ridiculous like always. It is the end of the state of grace, the World becomes ugly in a second, and each of us only wants to go back home, to familiar territory, where one can be alone and not face this another defeat. We know then, that this fighting is an old story and that rivers don't run backwards.

Now it is clear why we are not together anymore. Because of never being able to handle such fights. But at the same time, we are silently certain that such moments tell us clearly how precious the Present is, and that they remove all fear from the Future. If this is our beautiful and bitter Present and we have no expectations from the Future, then we are free because we have nothing to loose. Ours is the complete beauty of a moment because we don't try to confine it.

We flee to the car, because only a trip back home can give us the isolation needed. After such bitter discussion none of us can endure to sit together. But suddenly we hear music, and we follow it, like children. There is a party going on. We are explained that is a very seldom heppening, takes place only every seven years for centuries and that people drive specially for the occasion (and we land on it unknowing.. so typical) We drink some with the crowd, and let the party creep inside us. We are still bleeding inside, but now we are somehow in peace. We go to the car. We lay a table cloth over the motor cover, blue and white squares over metal, and make our picnic there, in the cold air. The crowd and the dance are a distant rumour now.

Now we are home. I am writting this. We pacified our feelings over a spartan but correct table. The same blue and white table cloth, some beans, bread, wine, some manioc as dessert. Coffee, "medronho" and a hand rolled cigarrette to close it. I spent the whole trip home cunning ways to ensure I could be alone, not see these two lovely but so irritating darlings for some time. Too painful to see them. But as soon as we arrived, it was just automatic to sit at the table and eat together, like we did for years, like a family that we never stopped being, even after we are not together anymore. I watch them talking on the sofa as I writte this. They know what I am writting about.
I am almost finished with the writting. I think I will publish it online, and then go over there, to the sofa, rejoin those two, rejoin our bliss. I don't know what the evening is reserving me, but I am sure it will be wonderful, after a wonderful day. Maybe this evening has no Present and no Future, or maybe it has. But this is not important. Love doesn't care about the potential of a nice and confortable Future. Love is something that just happens and knows no boundaries.

Poli em Portugal (ou o que eu vi disso)

This article is adapted from something I wrote for the alreadyrefered Krake zine from Gwendo (polylogo@gmx.de). I dont claim everything to be correct. I am giving a report of my six months I spent here paying special attention to poly visibility and oganising meetings.

Comments and questions welcome!


A very personal view on the poly scene (as it let itself be perceived) in Portugal


I started writing this with the thought of making a cold, uncommented and distanced description of what I was able to see from the polyamory culture in Portugal, in the 6 months I spend back in my motherland. But right in middle of writing it I came to the conclusion it was impossible for me to do so, that I had to bring here some of my personal background and emotions.

Maybe I would try to explain why I landed in poly first of all. I will try to be brief. The idea dawned in my mind more or less without external influence. I was finishing my studies, which is something that makes one think about the future, and got very disappointed by the relationships I saw around me. Either they were powered by an idea of love as submited to rules and regulations, oriented to a very long distance future, or were romantic passion driven. I have also seen schizofrenic cases of relations that try to follow both models, to my bewilderment.

The romantic passion is something that burns the house. Lives the moment, it is obsessed, it is exalted, it is pure pyrotechnic virtuosismo. Kills individuality, burns the future, raises inflated expectations. Ok, the outcoming poetry of it all is just great, and probably plays some role on the basis of Western Literature and Art, but you cannot expect to live long in such exalted state. One becomes first the mirror of The Loved One and then The Loved One's living picture. You become her. Of course I know that one cannot choose if passion knocks loudly at the front door. But already then I had the suspicion that many people seek this state desperately as an objective in itself, even more important than finding the eventual Unique Loved One.

I have difficulties in speaking impartially about the other model for which I even lack a decent name, but I will do my best. It is regulated by the idea that a relationship is successful only if it is long and it "works" in everyday life. It is "pass/fail" evaluated. Like, if the love of today is the token that it will work tomorrow, and tomorrow, and after, for years to come, no matter how much the people develop and their views change. In this model, strict rules are to be followed, and I have the suspicion that not only your actions and habits are to be regulated, but also what you should think and feel. In short, I suspect that also love suffers an attempted regulation (and "kindly explain me how can love be regulated?", is my eternal question to these people).

Without going too biographical, I was more than a decade in theoretical contemplation of some idea of poli and occasionally reaping some stoms and arguments with people because of some shy attemps at it. I recall from those years the sense of defeat and the isolation, the feeling I was not being understood by people around me. After some time I resolved this and settled my life in a more constructive way. Praxis began. For good and lasting. I had support of a lot of same minded people I found meanwhile in the german city I was living in.


Because I was aware how the very existence of these people did so much for me, and I was so thankful to have had this support, I decided I had to do the same in Portugal. In our days, there is so much you can do remotely over internet, and I was going to spend half an year there anyway, that I dived into the idea of founding and/or consolidating a poly discussion and support group in Portugal.

I did some research and found quickly that something already existed. There is a quite complete internet site, in portuguese, spanish and english, www.poliamor.pt.to, and a mailing list for discussion and support poly_portugal. The list is around 1-2 years old and hosts around 25 members, most of them just readers. It has not been growing and is not very active. Most of the people in it feel a sympathy for the poly ideas but never really had real life experience. Because of this, the "more experienced" others are shy about sharing their real-life poly experiences. I've been trying and making contacts with them individually outside the list just to feel the pulse and motivations. The huge majority of the list lives in Lisbon, 300 km from Porto, where I am sitting, so it is difficult to organise any type of events (discussion tables, parties, dinners,..), a couple of members live in Aveiro, others in the US. Some of the people are also in contact with the poly scene in Spain and UK. The list seems at first sight hetero and men dominated, but recently I start to think it might be a different story. Don't judge a group by its loudest voices.

There was a get-to-know dinner from the Lisbon group in January but then I was too tired to travel. No more events in Lisbon to this day. Because of not having been there, I cannot give a very complete picture about the situation in Lisbon (where like mentioned, the majority of the list lives), simply because I don't have it myself.

I don’t have any illusions that to consolidate a group takes time, that it takes other people, it takes time and that it takes some luck, that the right people come into contact. Also, some words on the social environment: I perceive me and my fellow portuguese as individualists. I don’t mean egoists. I just mean we are not group oriented as in northern cultures. We rely on ourselves, our creativity and wits, and have a tendency to find groups and associations an inefficient waste of time. Activism is regarded with suspicion, and the few who don’t feel this way, tend to engage in activism with fervor and exageration that shuns more moderate people. Off course this is just a model, but helpful to explain the apparent contradiction that I have heard and met stories of people who live or have lived in a poly way, but don’t consider useful to join a discussion group, to network, simply to become in some way "visible" or even "political" (everything you do that others see is political) about it. As a side comment, all this paragraph can be extrapolated to GLBT activism in fact, but that is another quite long laundry list.

What I have been doing for the moment is just agitating the waters in certain scenes. I started a blog to write about polyamory in portuguese in this blog to stimulate the discussion. Fliers have been written and distributed. Inside the GLBT groups I have been involved with, I started publishing translated articles I find good, or my own articles (and collecting the questions and comments they raise). I have privileged the politically engaged lesbian and the incipient bi communities as target groups. There has been some reaction, but not that much until now. The same holds for all the attempts of creating a regular discussion table. But as the weather gets better people are getting more social and I feel the interest steadily growing.

As a way of conclusion, just some words on some comments I got about Portugal typically being perceived from outside as conservative, and therefore poly unfriendly. Well, usually I like saying that there is an enormous variety of backgrounds here, from someone who has studied engineering but writes poetry to the illiterate and poor who still finds resources to feed a blind cat in an alley, so all the possible reactions that can exist, are all the possible reactions you will definetely get. Another point is, relationships and emotions are very important in Portugal, it is something that takes a lot of time and energy in everybody's mind and heart, so people tend to dwell not too long on the logic side of the argument, jumping quickly to gentle understanding of the idea of poly you are trying to explain, or a quick flaming of it. I had heard very unpleasant comments about my ways, but on the overall people were quite receptive and thankful that I shared that with them. Often I heard them saying that they knew similar stories from someone else they knew. I see a future here, and until now it was great fun to engage in all this.

Thanks for reading,
antidote[arroba]imensis[ponto]net

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